shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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