Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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