We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
