Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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