DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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