Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I love you. Go after that dick
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
