dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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