but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
