Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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