Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
