There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
