did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
