weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize