Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
