my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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