dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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