I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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