I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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