I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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