I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
