Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
two words...techno handjob
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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