It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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