After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
