I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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