Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
