Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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