Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
