The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
