btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
