so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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