best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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