i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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