I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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