Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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