Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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