Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
