Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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