my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
