Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Drake has all the answers
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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