Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
