My room smells like vodka and shame
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
