Porn is love you can see.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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