My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
