Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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