There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you had me at cake vodka
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
