we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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