Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
