K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize