apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
