And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
