I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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