i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize