i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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