I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
