I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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