you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
