yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
