think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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