Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
